literature

A Plea

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MensjeDeZeemeermin's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

Graphic artists, and artistes—
All you skilled creative beasts
Gather round, hearken to me,
Hear my well-intentioned plea!
Read the slogan on my banner:
IF YOU POST ART, USE A SCANNER!

I draw little, but I give
You the odd scanned negative
Ancient image, long kept waitin’
For the holder and the platen.
Heed my firm, insistent manner:
IF YOU POST ART, USE A SCANNER!

Let me lure you to flat-bed.
Not your cell phone, this instead!
Lack of quality long lingers.
WE DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR FINGERS!
Hopes of loveliness soon crash
Dimmed by your phone’s pallid flash.
I kick like a Gypsy Vanner:
IF YOU POST ART, USE A SCANNER!

Sorry, it’s not helped, but maimed!
Ring binding is not ‘well-framed!’
Show the image, make us able
To ignore your sketching table.
Listen to us plead and whine,
SHOW A CLEAR WELL-LIT STRONG LINE!
I will throw a wrench (Brits: Spanner)!
IF YOU POST ART, USE A SCANNER!

I despair, how long I’ve trudged
Seeing pictures smudged and kludged.
Hanging my head in dejection
To see cell-phones TRASH PERFECTION.
Mona Lisa has a wart!
Cell-phone photos just fall short!
A Canon wards old Epson Manor!
IF YOU POST ART, USE A SCANNER!
Yes! Yes! I'm TELLING YOU HOW TO SUCK EGGS BECAUSE SOME THINGS NONETHELESS SUCK!  I... should leave you in no doubt as to what pet peeve prompted this... SCREAM OF AGONY. They are not that expensive. They are very useful.   IF YOU POST ART, USE A SCANNER!
© 2017 - 2024 MensjeDeZeemeermin
Comments40
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Sacron22's avatar
Hilarious.  Don't get me wrong, I hear your yelps of pain, your howls at a world of cretins who just don't get it! 
None the less, funny as hell.